I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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