His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
