there's paper in my vomit.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've blown a few things in my day
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
