I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
