She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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