If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
