So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
