Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
