currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
