Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You dont lie about slip and slides
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
