My friends, they love my intelligence
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
