i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
