I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
