from now on my penis is your penis
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
