normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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