Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
