Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
