I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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