Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
