His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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