How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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