the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
