Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
