...so i touched it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize