i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
