At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize