i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
