i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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