Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
