were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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