I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Who died my cat blue again?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
