This girl is more easily done than said...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
