the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
