I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
