i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
