How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize