You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
PANTIES FOUND
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
