I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
