My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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