I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize