i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
