I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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