ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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