We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
