I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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