I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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