oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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