woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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