So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
