I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
