Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
