Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry smurfshit420 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?

(918): View more from Oklahoma

You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I wish there were wingman of the year awards.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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(757): View more from Virginia

Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?

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(302): View more from Delaware

Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.

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