Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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