I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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