My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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