why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
