I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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