normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
