also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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