quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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