My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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